Ever since childhood, I’ve been interested in the depths. Growing up in my family, church, and public schools, I always had a sense that there was more to what was happening than could be observed directly or stated explicitly. As a child, however, I didn’t have the language to describe it, and worse, I thought I could not trust my own perception. It has taken many years of study, my own personal psychotherapy, and work with many other people, different than me, to understand. Because sometimes we don’t perceive things accurately, and sometimes we do. It does take work and discernment to sort out when our perceptions are accurate and when they are not. Or you can skip that work and just believe what you are told, but as George Orwell stated in 1984: “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” Regardless, it is important to recognize that what we perceive with our senses and what we perceive that is not perceived by our senses are two distinct realms.
In addition to studies in Western psychology and popular evidence-based practices, I’ve studied Eastern traditions like Buddhism and spent 15 years engaged with Lakota rituals, which has helped me recognize that most Western psychology and interventions are ego-based and work primarily with what can be sensed in the material world, whereas indigenous and Eastern traditions cater to the ego much less, recognizing that there is something beyond the ego and that the ego’s wishes should not be what drives our life. Interestingly, the etymology of the word psychology is the “study of the soul.” But as happens, we forget, and the zeitgeist (spirit of the age) clouds our vision; thus, in the last century, ego-based psychology has dominated, which is more fitting and appealing to our ego-based culture.
This article examines the differences between ego-based and soul-based psychological work and why both are necessary at different times. We should not conflate the two.
In our Western culture, ego-based psychology is most dominant and most needed because our systems don’t foster healthy ego development. Many people have under-developed fragile egos or overdeveloped, domineering egos. We can’t move beyond our ego effectively until we recognize and understand it, and develop sufficient healthy ego strength to set it aside from time to time.
Soul-based psychology is about initiation. As I wrote about in my article on Jungian Analysis, soul-based psychotherapy starts with developing more healthy ego-functioning, because without a healthy functioning ego, we can’t navigate the world of showing up to work on time, having healthy interpersonal relationships, learning new skills and ideas, etc…. Prior to my Jungian studies, I had several teachers in Lakota rituals, chiefly the vision quest, which, on some levels, is about ego-death to recognize your place in the world with your soul’s unique gifts, and returning to your community to offer them. Yet as one of my teachers said, the best preparation for a vision quest is to clean up your life. Clean your house and car, make amends with people you have harmed, ensure all your affairs are in order, get rid of things you don’t need, and tell people you care about what they mean to you. The ego work and personal work come first. It’s not about the ego getting what it wants. Both the soul and the ego are transformed by the process.
Not everyone can or should engage in difficult ordeals such as the vision quest, but life provides ample opportunities for trials and ordeals. It’s up to us to recognize them and relate to them in that way, rather than view it in a one-dimensional way that tries to get through it or out of it as quickly as possible without learning anything or being changed by it.
High-level distinction between ego and soul-based therapy
Ego-based therapy
- Oriented toward adaptation, functioning, regulation, and coherence
- Assumes the ego should become stronger, clearer, and have more agency
- Primary question: “How do we reduce symptoms and improve functioning?”
Soul-based therapy
- Oriented toward meaning, image, destiny, and transformation
- Assumes suffering may be necessary, purposive, and initiatory
- Primary question: “What is trying to be lived, experienced, or known through this?”
Or even more simply:
- Ego-based therapy asks: “How do we fix this?”
- Soul-based therapy asks: “Why has this arrived now, and what does it want?”
It’s helpful to simplify and condense what I’m discussing to facilitate comprehension, but in practice, those questions remain too simplistic. To fully understand, we would need to ask additional questions, such as: What do we actually envision or mean by “fixing it”? For what purpose or intended outcome? And why is that important to us? And what might I gain or learn from this experience? Even further, what thoughts, feelings, or actions am I unable or unwilling to experience that would be appropriate for the situation? Ego-based therapy seeks to solve and move on, but to what end? Often in our culture, it is about ending or avoiding pain or gaining something materially. Soul-based therapy seeks to deepen understanding of life and to navigate it more richly at an intangible level.
When it becomes excessive and problematic, ego-based therapy is invested in helping the ego get what it wants and feel better at all costs. The ego wants comfort, predictability, sameness, and pleasure. There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but when they become the primary goal, the process can be superficial and short-lasting, prompting further seeking for the next thing to try to feel better. It’s why some people jump from one healing modality to another, trying to find the thing that will help their ego get what it wants. At its worst, ego-based therapy breeds narcissism, enabling an already domineering ego to believe everyone around them is responsible for giving them what they want, making them feel better, and meeting their needs.
Soul-based work helps the whole person experience some degree of health, comfort, pleasure, and improved well-being, regardless of external circumstances. Soul-based work doesn’t depend on a spa-like experience to feel good, where ego-based work does. The ego wants what it wants, and it wants it now. The soul is patient and willing to allow the ego to suffer a bit so that it can learn deeper lessons. Don’t misunderstand, it’s not about a pervasive masochistic suffering, that is still ego-based. And it is not about not trying to improve life for yourself and others. It is holding a broader perspective and working steadily toward your purpose or calling, regardless of ego gratification or outcome.
Because our ego is our seat of consciousness, it requires care and tending. Too much harshness can cause wounding and disconnection from the soul and the world. But if we cater only to the ego’s needs, we’re trapped, as the ego prioritizes survival above all else. The ego’s self-preservation view wants to deny the reality of death, hardship, and ordeals that we all must also face as we live life in our bodies.
In a moment, I’ll give a few examples of how an ego-based psychology and a soul-based psychology differ in their approach to specific situations. But first, I want to remind you that we must have some level of ego health to engage in a soul-based paradigm. Different ego psychologies have different definitions of what healthy ego functioning looks like, but to give you an idea, here are a few benchmarks.
- Some level of ability to be aware of, articulate, and differentiate between thoughts, feelings, intuitions, and actions. Being able to accurately assess, feel, plan, and act. Can have feelings, including strong feelings, without being overwhelmed by them, acting them out, or shutting down.
- A healthy recognition of rules, social norms, and the consequences of not following them. In some cases, the ability to deviate from them when necessary to align with ethics or morality, and a recognition of the consequences. In other words, a healthy relationship with inner and outer authority.
- Ability to be appropriately assertive, not passive and withdrawn or overly aggressive. Recognizing the proper time and place for yielding or asserting.
- Flexibility with serving in different roles in life. Being firm in a role when necessary and flexible when appropriate. In other words, taking appropriate action when necessary and refraining from action when prudent.
- Recognition and appreciation of different forms of beauty, love, and eros. Ability to create and engage with beauty in whatever forms call to you.
- Being able to differentiate between inner fantasy and outer reality, and recognize the pros and cons of both.
- Can tolerate some level of paradox and ambiguity.
- Has a capacity for various forms of relatedness. For example: can sustain emotional closeness without losing oneself, can tolerate separation, difference, and disappointment, others are experienced as whole people, not objects or functions
- Ability to reflect on the reasons for thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to understand why you have them, and why other people have different ones. Can reflect on motivations, defenses, and relational patterns. Curious rather than defensive about inner life.
- Recognizing and appreciating different changes and cycles in life, such as life stages and roles.
Again, these are ego-based abilities. As we examine the specific examples below, you will see how ego-based interventions help develop these essential attributes. Soul-based interventions help to see the broader picture beyond the immediate crisis. And soul-based work is more about being with what is, whatever it is, relating to it, and learning from it rather than doing something about it and being overly invested in the outcome. We need both modes; we can’t neglect either.
We need attention to and care for both our ego and our soul to develop health and wholeness!
- Soul-based work without sufficient ego strength leads to destabilization
- Ego-based work without soul = emptiness, repetition, and spiritual deadness
Example: Panic attacks
Ego-based approach
Clinical stance
- Panic is a maladaptive physiological/cognitive loop
- Goal: symptom reduction and self-regulation
Interventions
- Psychoeducation about the nervous system
- Breathing and grounding techniques
- Cognitive restructuring of catastrophic thoughts
- Exposure to feared sensations
Therapeutic Language
“Your body is misinterpreting threat. Let’s help you regain control and reduce the panic.”
Success looks like
- Fewer panic attacks
- Increased sense of mastery
- Return to normal functioning
Soul-based approach
Clinical stance
- Panic is a breakthrough of the unconscious
- Ego control is already failing for a reason
Interventions
- Amplification of images and fantasies during panic
- Tracking symbolic content (death, collapse, annihilation, rebirth)
Relational holding rather than regulation - Exploration of life situations where the soul feels trapped or unlived
Therapist language
“Something in you is insisting on being felt. What happens if we don’t push it away?”
Success looks like
- A shift in life orientation or values
- Panic becomes meaningful, even if not eliminated
Greater tolerance for ambiguity and depth
Example: Depression after a breakup
Ego-based approach
Clinical stance
- Depression = loss + distorted thinking + withdrawal
Goal: restore functioning and mood
Interventions
- Challenging self-blame and hopeless beliefs
- Social reconnection
- Goal setting
- Psychoeducation on relationships and communication
Therapist language
“Let’s help you get unstuck and rebuild your life.”
Success looks like
- Improved mood
- Re-engagement with work and relationships
- Reduced rumination
Soul-based approach
Clinical stance
- Depression = descent, mourning the loss of an identity or soul-image
- Pathology may be the refusal to descend, not the descent itself
Interventions
- Staying with emptiness, loss, grief, and deadness
- Working with dreams
- Exploring who died in the relationship (not just who left)
- Avoiding premature “rebuilding”
- Establishing deeper relationship with oneself
Therapist language
“Depression may be asking you to stop becoming who you were.”
Success looks like
- A deeper, humbler self-structure
- New values emerging slowly
Grief metabolized rather than bypassed
Example: Relationship conflict
Ego-based approach
Clinical stance
- Conflict = poor communication or unmet needs
Interventions
- Assertiveness training
- Boundary setting
- Needs and feelings identification
- Effective communication and conflict-resolution skills
- Psychoeducation on attachment styles (if an intimate relationship)
Therapist language
“What do you need, and how can you ask for it clearly?”
Success looks like
- Fewer fights
- Better negotiation
- Clearer boundaries
Soul-based approach
Clinical stance
- Conflict = archetypal pattern playing itself out
- Partners are constellating complexes, archetypes, and gods in each other
Interventions
- Recognizing projections and shadow material
- Working with repetitive relational myths
- Identifying other places in life these patterns appear – ie: family of origin
- Group work (to recognize how these patterns show up with others – it’s not just about the specific person)
Therapist language
“Who is being met in the other—and who is being avoided in yourself?”
Success looks like
- Increased symbolic awareness
- Less blaming
- Capacity to hold paradox in intimacy
In Soul-Based Work:
- Symptoms are symbolic communications
- They may be necessary, purposive, or initiatory
- Eliminating symptoms too quickly can abort the transformation – the ego wants to be done and move on. In soul-based work, symptoms resolve on their own and recur less frequently as lessons are learned and a new relationship to life is developed, leading to long-lasting change.
“The symptom is not the problem; the ego’s misunderstanding of it is.”
We need both ego-based work and soul-based work because traversing these challenges consciously teaches us lessons that evolve both our ego and our soul. We miss that if our only goal is to survive and to end suffering as quickly as possible.
Furthermore, we must function effectively in society. Even in the archetypal hero’s journey, a pattern commonly observed in vision quests and soul-based initiations, there is a return to community. We can’t return to the community and demand everyone sees the world as we see it and behaves how we want them to behave. That’s narcissism. And yet, if we do only ego-based work and learn only to be part of society, we miss the bigger picture and may be adjusting to unhealthy patterns in society.
As Indian philosopher Krishnamurti famously said, “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” It seems he did not actually say that, but it is an accurate paraphrase. What he actually said was,
Is society healthy, that an individual should return to it? Has not society itself helped to make the individual unhealthy? Of course, the unhealthy must be made healthy, that goes without saying; but why should the individual adjust himself to an unhealthy society? If he is healthy, he will not be a part of it. Without first questioning the health of society, what is the good of helping misfits to conform to society?
Aldous Huxley, a close friend of Krishnamurti’s, also wrote a passage that is similar, contained in his book Brave New World Revisited (1958):
The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does. They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted. Source
If you have seen the musical Hadestown, Huxley’s description of well-adjusted people who don’t struggle or suffer aligns well with the depiction of the workers who slave away to Hades in Hadestown. In Hadestown, they have no name, no voice, and they don’t listen. I’ll write a more thorough exploration of the symbolism in Hadestown in the future. For now, I’ll just say this is a great illustration of ego psychology vs soul psychology. The ego may be perfectly content as part of the collective and even unaware that it is suffering. Or it might simply continue working or staying active to avoid whatever awareness of suffering it does have. But as the ego develops the capacity to listen and relate to others and to itself, especially in its own unique thoughts and feelings, and even more importantly to dreams and other ways the soul communicates, there is the possibility of freedom from enslavement in Hadestown.
In summary, to truly heal or transform, the path goes much deeper than learning a few new tools or ideas. It even goes much deeper than a weekend or weeklong retreat or a major rite of passage such as a vision quest. Yet all of those are important. It helps to be able to differentiate between what is of our ego and what is of our soul, or of some higher purpose. We can’t ignore ego-based work, as individuation involves relating to others and engaging with the world. But we can’t stop there either, as we may be getting caught in the collective culture of our times. In fact, that is exactly what has happened with what most people think of when they think of psychology and the psychotherapy practiced from a modern Western perspective. Collective culture engulfs individuals, causing them to lose themselves if not carefully navigated. Yet purely rebelling against collective culture is a simplistic adolescent stance that creates more outcasts. To find health and satisfaction in life for ourselves and our people, we must navigate the fine line between ego-based and soul-based work, while remaining engaged and returning to the world to help create greater health for others and future generations.
Chuck Hancock, M.Ed., LPC, LMHC, is a licensed psychotherapist and Analytic Psychology Training Candidate practicing in Colorado and New York, guiding individuals, couples, and groups into greater wholeness.